Silver Linings and Such

My Brave Little Guy

2012-03-03T09:02:00.007-05:00

I want to tell you a story about this little guy. He is Andrew, our son. We brought him home in September 2008. I remember seeing him in the social welfare office for the first time. He was tiny but so cute. He had bruises across his forehead. I later figured out why when he began to beat his head on the floor when something went wrong. He had sores like boils all over his head. My translator said these were from the bad living conditions. He was very dirty but had new clothes to cover it up. I guess the scariest thing and most amazing thing I saw was his little feet. They were very disfigured. Shoes were not remotely a possibility for him. Here is a picture to give you an idea.

He was born with clubbed feet. While this condition is correctable in the US (and China too) for newborns, the area where he came from (Hebi City, Henan) is very poor. This is poverty Americans cannot comprehend. His birth parents could not afford to have this defect corrected and the Chinese see birth defects as a curse from the gods and want to dispose of the child with the defect. They did see fit to take him to the Hebi Social Welfare Institute (an orphanage) where he lived from 10 days old to three and a half years old. The time had come and gone for this defect to be corrected easily. I can't really think about how difficult the time in the orphanage must have been for him. Being in an orphanage where there are not many human hands to love and care for children is bad enough but to be deformed is a double blow because you are seen as an outcast.

Needless to say Andrew looked rough.

I don't want to make us look like heroes because I was really afraid that serious neurological damage had occurred during this time but I KNEW that God wanted us to raise this child no matter what the issues were so I prayed... a lot. Andrew did not talk in any language when we got him. He was lethargic and sluggish. He had learned to walk on the tops of his feet, which was crazy to see. Under all of that exterior I could see there was a sweet little disposition with a contagious smile that came out from time to time.

When we arrived home we quickly (the same week) took him to the Shriner's hospital in Greenville, SC. They began casting his legs weekly to correct his clubbed feet. He literally wore casts on his legs for the first two months we had him. He never complained. He just made do. We took him to Brenner's Children's hospital to have a hernia corrected and got him circumcised (I believe he disliked that the most). December 4th, 2008 Andrew had complete reconstruction of both his feet. He was in the hospital for a week and there was a lot of pain and rehabilitation.

Through this whole ordeal Andrew has kept the best attitude. He has changed and "bloomed" into an amazing little guy. He brightens our home in a special way. There are still many scars from his past that haunt him from time to time but I see him making great progress each day. He is a true boy and loves to run and play and get into mischief. He goes to speech therapy two times a week and is making great progress.

This week he will have another surgery to correct the twist in his tibia bones. I am so thankful to the Shriner's hospital and the doctors there. They are very talented. The only cost to our family is our travel/hotel expenses. That placed has saved us thousands of dollars. Andrew's adoption cost around $25,000, so medical expenses could have literally bankrupted us. I am so thankful that Andrew's surgery will only cost us hundreds and not thousands of dollars. God always provides.

I am proud of all four of my children and they are all so special to me. Please say a special prayer for Andrew this Thursday and as he spends the next six weeks in a wheelchair (not easy for a six-year-old little boy). He is a brave little guy.

Andrew now...

Marks of a Spirit-Filled Life

2012-02-27T22:49:00.006-05:00

Since I last blogged it has been very busy at my house. We have had lots of hospitality going on. I guess that is one reason I haven't sat down and blogged too much. Kevin went out of town 4 days for a revival in Roxboro, NC. I always miss him when he is gone but I know that he is blessing others so that makes it a little easier to let him go. We have been super busy at church doing many things.

I have been learning more about David in my Bible study. One of the things that really strikes me is how he was anointed by Samuel approximately 22 years before he became the king of Israel. There is a great lesson about patience there. It is so easy to get ahead of God and say "Okay already, God! I am waiting for you to use me for that big assignment." Sometimes we are just not ready for that big assignment yet. Sometimes it takes time for us to be ready. Sometimes it takes trials for us to be ready. God often is using a "holding pattern" to align things for Him to use us the way he wants to. A lot of times I want to run ahead of Him and figure it all out myself. Are you this way?

David was anointed (through the prophet Samuel) by God and we are too (not by Samuel though)! We have the anointing of the Holy Spirit if we are Christians. In his book Flying Closer to the Flame, Chuck Swindoll lists some marks of a Spirit-filled life. Although no one is perfect, these are some great guidelines.

-We have an inner dynamic to handle life's pressures.

-We can be joyful...regardless.

-We have the capacity to grasp the deep things of God that He discloses to us in His Book.

-We have little difficulty maintaining a positive attitude of unselfishness, servant hood, and humility.

-We have a keen sense of intuition and discernment; we sense evil.

-We can love and be loved in return.

-We don't need to fear evil or demonic and satanic assault.

-We are enabled to stand alone in confidence.

-We experience inner assurance regarding decisions as well as right and wrong.

-We can actually live worry free.

-We are able to minister to others through our spiritual gift(s).

-We have an intimate, abiding "Abba relationship" with the living God.

It is really amazing to think that the SAME GOD that gave David the strength to do the many miraculous things that he did is the same God who lives in us! We can live this way! The power is there. We must tap into it. We must desire it.

You must first be a Christian, though. I think there are so many people who really want these things but they fail time and time again because they have never really tapped into the source of this Spirit. They don't really know the source. We must make sure we are "plugged into" The Source. Then we must do like David and jump into servant hood. He served for 22 years before he was "recognized" as king. Not many people want to serve anymore. Most people in the church just want to be served. Remember, in Matthew 22:23 Jesus said, "You have been faithful in a little, so I will put you over much."

Do we have the marks of a spirit-filled life? No one is perfect, not even David! That doesn't mean that we don't strive for God's best! It is what He desires and expects from us. The power to achieve this rests in the...Spirit, not in us.

Invisible Messages

2012-02-09T22:06:00.003-05:00

We have been talking a lot around here about movies, books and other forms of media. There is so much media out there it is difficult to sort through it all. As my kids get older I realize that I do not have control over everything that comes before their eyes. Kevin and I have spent the last 18 years but especially the last few years helping our kids understand the concept of "world view." Everything comes from a world view. The person who writes a book, magazine article or movie script comes to the table with a set of values and beliefs. Sometimes people are very open and overt about their views but other times they are more surreptitious. Our family has lots of fun discussing what authors are trying to get us to think after reading or watching their "media." The overt messages are easy to pick out but sometimes there are "invisible" messages. Those are very dangerous because we can absorb those ideas without even knowing we are doing it.

We have at least two generations who have been absorbing all kinds of hidden messages and they do not even know what they believe because they have this "hodge podge" of world views floating around in their heads.

I will give you an example I have come across lately. We recently watched Cars 2 (my son loved the first Cars movie). There is a very strong message being sent to our children in that movie. I am not going to tell you what it is. Watch it and see if you can figure it out. Adults will probably catch it but our children will just absorb it IF we don't talk about it. We can't talk about it if we just put our kids in front of the screen and walk away...because we will not know!

There are many TV shows where living outside of God's plan for the family is completely acceptable and casual (I do not watch these shows but in my younger years I did watch some shows that promoted immorality by showing it unapologetically). In these shows no one ever says "Do this" but we can absorb the belief that this particular lifestyle is okay because we watch this show. It is "invisible" the way it just seeps into our value system.

Some people say "I can separate what I believe from what is happening on this show or in this movie/book." Usually after I have spent time with these types of people their "values" begin to seep through and it is obvious they cannot separate it. It is impossible, even for the most savvy thinker to not absorb a steady diet of certain belief sets.

I am still coughing up values I digested 20+ years ago reading and watching things that no Christian needs to watch or read. God's word has a way of bringing these beliefs out and shedding light on their foolish and sinful roots.

Sometimes we have these values and we do not even know where we got them but they are very contrary to the Bible. Sometimes they came from a movie or a teacher we had or a song we heard on the radio or a commercial we saw on TV.

Okay, so all this is kind of depressing! I guess the first thing we must do is understand what we are up against. Ephesians 6:12 says "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Satan loves to use invisible messages because they are so easy to miss and slide into our brain.

God and his word are much greater than anything Satan can do. His power is there for us IF we seek it out in His word.

The next thing we can do is ALWAYS have conversations with our kids and others and say.."Who wrote this?" "What do they believe?" "What do they want me to believe?" We have lots of discussions in our house about these invisible messages. There are messages in everything. We must make our children aware of these tactics and teach them to recognize them and discern what is contrary to God's word.

This idea may seem simple but I have seen lives destroyed by these invisible messages that can overtake the mind. There are many good "church going" people who are completely guided by these undercurrents because they live on a steady diet of "media" and are anemic when it comes to the wisdom of God's word.

Keep the conversations open in your home and if there are movies on your shelf that glorify evil, darkness, immorality, reward sinful behavior, or laugh at it. Toss them!

I have found that the more we know God's word the easier these messages are to notice and the easier they are to destroy and cast out of our minds. So...let's get busy studying God's word and arming ourselves against these invisible messages.

NYC and Eat that Frog!

2012-01-19T15:36:00.007-05:00

Wow. It has been two weeks since I have blogged. I want to be more consistent in this but I am struggling with trying to fit it into my schedule these days. Since my last blog Katy, Kandace and I traveled up to New York city. We lived kind of a fantasy life for a few days. We went to see the Broadway play "Wicked" and ate at some delicious New York restaurants. We did things like... go to the top of the Empire State Building, hang out in Times Square, ice skate in Central Park, go for a moonlight dinner cruise on the Hudson River where we pulled right up to the Statue of Liberty. Oh, and to top it off Katy and Kandace sang in Carnegie Hall under the direction of Camp Kirkland, who, by the way, is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. It was a "once in a lifetime" trip. Because of God's goodness it was all free to us. I had literally been praying for years to be able to take Katy to New York before her high school graduation in May. (If you know Katy you know she LOVES a good show). God not only provided a trip to New York, He threw in singing at Carnegie Hall. He is so Good!!!

So we are home and back down to earth! A couple of weeks ago I added a free book to my Kindle. It was called "Eat That Frog." I am always adding free books that I hear about to read later when I am out of books to read...which is never. Anyway, I have been reading this book and I wanted to share some of its premise. I have been sharing it with Kevin and the girls too.

The book is basically about what separates the successful people from the not so successful people. Now success can be defined in many ways. I think this book can apply to any kind of success (relational success, career success, etc).

Mark Twain once said that if you eat a frog every morning the rest of the day will seem pretty easy. In other words, the first things we should do each day are the tough things. The things that we want to put off or procrastinate on. Studies show that people who are"successful" CHOOSE to do the hard things first and do not procrastinate. Also, more "successful" people tend to see the long term effects of their choices and decisions. They look out weeks, months or years to see what difference a particular choice makes. People who live in poverty or with relational difficulty do not make choices with thoughts of the long term consequences.

This principle can be applied to so many areas of life. The book covers many more facets of this basic principle but it all comes back to the idea that we must do the hard stuff first and get it done. When we make decisions we must not be short-sighted. "Eat That Frog" was not really written with the spiritual realm in mind but it is certainly Biblical. The book of Proverbs is full of little nuggets about thinking things through and getting things done. For example, it is easier and short-sighted to go light on the discipline when our children are young but the long-term effects are not good. If you sit and watch TV or play video games instead of reading books...long term you will be less intelligent. If you satisfy short term appetites whether sexual or in your stomach...there will be long term repercussions.

If you struggle with self discipline/self control or procrastination I highly recommend this book. Of course, the first thing you need to be reading is the Bible daily (start with Proverbs or John). You can overcome these traits even if they have been a part of who you are for your entire life. Do you know people who get things done? Do you admire where they are in life or what they have accomplished? They are not lucky. They do the hard things first. Maybe you don't like to read.

Well, all I can say to that is, "Eat that Frog!!"

Thoughts for a new year...

2012-01-07T14:46:00.004-05:00

With every new year I always try to set some new goals for myself. One goal I have been aiming for each year for the past 6-7 years is to be more deliberate about the ministry of hospitality. The Bible is clear about this but if I do not set goals for myself it just never happens. That is how it is with any goal whether it is weight loss, exercise, reading the Bible, or budgeting our money. Getting back to hospitality, there are many scripture passages about it in the New Testament. "Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling." (1 Peter 4:8-10) is a good one or "Practice hospitality." (Romans 12:13). There are many more, just look it up. It is surprising, really.

The easiest way I know to do this minitry is to plan to invite a different person or family into our home each month. That equates to 12 per year. That may seem small or large depending on your mindset. With the busyness of families these days and the cost of food (feeding a family of six plus others is not cheap), 12 seems to be a number that is reachable for our family. I was thinking if everyone in our church had this same goal and 100 families had 12 families into their homes this year that 1200 new bonds would be formed! WOW!!! Can you imagine that?

I used to just invite people with whom I already had good relationships (friends and family). Those invites are now added to the 12 new ones because inviting new and different people really puts me outside of my comfort zone. It stretches me. God seems to ask things like that a lot of me these days.

This past year I got really slack and did not do much of this hospitality thing past about August. I just got busy and compalcent (that equates to selfish and lazy). I have vowed to get back on track with this plan. I have a LONG list of people to invite!

You may ask, "Why do you need to have people over to your house? Don't you see them at work or church or wherever?" I used to think this same way but there is something special about having someone in your home. It really blesses people when they see you care enought to have them into your "space" and want to spend time with them. (as a side note: eating at a restaurant is nice and I appreciate when folks buy us a meal but I love visiting in the home even more.)

This whole hospitality thing used to be very difficult for me because I stressed a lot about my house being clean or the food being served, but in this journey I have learned not to care so much about those things because most people do not care about my house or whether I feed them a 7 course meal. They just want the fellowship and to know that my family cares.

I am also going to try something new this year. I plan to invite people over for just snacks or desserts. I have very fond memories of my childhood when my parents used to go over to friends' homes to have cake or something after church on Sunday night. We used to have such fun and I don't ever remember what we ate but I do remember having a wonderful time.

With all of that said, we live in a day where we are busy and have so much going on that we often miss out on getting to know our brothers and sisters in Christ because we are running the "rat race" of life. People really don't care how big our homes are or how nice our furniture is. What matters is that we want to spend time together. There is an unexplainable bond that forms when you invite people into your home.

I love to visit people's homes in our church it helps me know them and relate to them so much better. I don't know why but it does. It makes me feel like those people love me and my family. I hope that is how people feel when they come to my home.

Maybe hospitality will be a new project for you this year too. You may say that it is not your "thing." I used to say it was not my "thing" too, but God's commands must be our "thing." Some things are not optional. Hopefully at the end of 2012, I will have been more obedient in the ministry of hospitality than I was in 2011. I guess that is what really matters.

More about me...

2011-12-30T23:43:00.004-05:00

I am Pam. I am a Christian, wife and mom. My husband, Kevin, and I were married in 1990. Eighteen years ago I was on the fast track toward career success finishing up my Master's degree and teaching school when a funny thing happened to me...motherhood. When this little girl(Katy) was placed in my arms I knew there was no greater calling in my life than making sure she knew Jesus. I realized quickly that my life would have to change to give this endeavor 100% of my efforts. After trying diligently to juggle my career and motherhood I decided something had to give in the Brown house. To my husband's dismay I confessed that I could not be the mom I needed to be and teach school full time. It took almost no time for Kevin to see that my being at home was an amazing blessing that money could not replace. Another girl came along in 1998 (Kandace). In 1999 I decided to spring another crazy idea on my husband...homeschooling! Well, again after much prayer and thought he agreed. That began another AMAZING and wonderful journey for our family. The sacrifices have been there but the benefits have been ten-fold. Some days I wanted to get dressed up, put on some make-up and leave the kids somewhere else but I knew my calling and I stayed the course (some days were/are hard like doing anything worthwhile). Kevin and I wanted more children so in 2000 we were expecting again. When I lost the baby at 3 months we were heart-broken. I had some health issues that were going to make it difficult to have anymore children so I felt like that was God's answer to that desire...no more kids.

As the next few years passed I kept hearing and reading about adoption. Articles and radio programs seemed to follow me everywhere. In 2004 I threw out another crazy idea to Kevin (he was used to them by now and so were our parents), adoption, international adoption to be more specific. My oldest daughter had been having dreams about this and she didn't even know that I was pitching this idea to Kevin at the same time. We prayed about this for 6 months before acting on it. During this process Kevin left his job as a business man to become a pastor. He took a massive pay cut during the adoption process but God is good and with the help of family and friends we were able to adopt Clara in 2006 and Andrew in 2008. Those two have brought untold blessings to our family in ways we would have never imagined.

We are still on the journey growing and learning each day! What an adventure it is! In this blog I hope to share some of the many things that have happened along this journey we call "life" in our home.

Time to BLOG!

2011-12-30T19:46:00.004-05:00

Hello! After watching my husband and oldest daughter blog for a while now, I decided that it is my turn. I am always saying to myself, "I need to Blog about that!" and I finally broke down and got Katy to set up a Blog for me. Most of my musings will be about God, motherhood and life at home with my husband (a pastor) and my four kids who are 17, almost 14, 6 and 6. I hope to take you along with me on my journey. I believe that it is never too late to stop learning and I will share the things I learn. Hopefully they will help someone besides just me.
Keeping a blog is something I believe God is calling me to do in 2012. I love to read the Bible and all kinds of books and share things about them. I enjoy watching old and thought provoking movies. I am not really a fan of TV except for I Love Lucy, or some other old show that has been off the air for many years.
Galatians 6:9 is one of my favorite verses for obvious reasons, I suppose. It is a verse many Christian parents cannot live without. I have it posted in many rooms in my home. Raising children is often a thankless job for many years and sometimes the "harvest" comes long after the "seeds" have been sown. Many times people expect a harvest when they never planted the seeds. Maybe they handed the seeds to someone else...but did they get planted? You only know when the harvest comes.
Galatians 6:9 can apply in many areas of life, not just parenthood, but that is where I am right now. Many people can apply it in other areas. However we apply it. Diligence and perseverance are an important part of the Christian life. I give up a lot. I start many new projects and quit before I reap the rewards. I really want to finish strong in the important stuff and not major on the minors. That is my focus for 2012.